It is 7:11am Sunday morning. I decided to get up  early to do some writing and posting. These past few weeks have been busy and on Thursday I hit the wall....not terribly...but a wall crash non the less. For many different little reasons, as it always is. What does hitting the well look like? Well these days, it looks like me feeling tired and needing mental, physical and spiritual rest to rejuvenate myself so I can so what it is my heart desires to do. I am so aware, now, when it is time to just pull back, slow the pace and sometimes even just sit on the road side and rest. I like to rest in areas like the picture above. I like to smell the damp forest floor and feel the strength of the giant trees towering over me. I like the safe feeling I feel in a forest like this, cocoon in its coolness and protected from the elements of life. Elements we all have to endure and weather through this journey of life, but sometimes need a break from. A forest like that one above offers that. If the Horticulturist comes at me with some topic or discussion that makes me feel all prickly inside, I will say to him , “not now hon, I am really tired and will not be able to talk about this sanely right now.” I know! It sounds so civilized!!! This is the gift that the 40’s give you....rational thinking! Before these kinds of times would look so much more chaotic....

I would say I probably looked a lot like this tree

trunk. My face was unrecognizable, all twisted

and frustrated, and my insides all wound up in

to a knot. I was too busy fighting with myself to

see that what I needed was a rest, a sabbatical

of sorts. Somewhere in my mind, at some point

in my life I started believing that rest was a sign

of weakness. When that began is not as important

as what I I have chosen to do with that lie now.

For that is what it is, a lie,.....simply.....a......lie.

I have become kinder to myself in my “older” age, and thus kinder to others. I am not so narrow mined to think that others do not have rough roads to take as well. I am more aware and conscious that no matter how thing look on the outside of someones life, chances are that there is struggles inside. I was so busy trying to obtain some sort of perfection that when my spirit said it is time to rest I could not( and forget about my body and mind, I thought they could just go on forever!)...and thus the struggle inside began, and in that struggle, over many years, I exhausted myself to break down and the brink of loosing myself completely.

But it was here, that the greatest thing happened...the realization of true freedom. I let go...I let go of the life line of strength , or what I thought to be strength, and sunk way down to the bottom of the ocean...the place I feared the most. For letting go was a sign of weakness and I feared what would come out of my weakness.

But, there was nothing to fear.....it was silent, and peaceful and I was not alone. My Sprit was there with me, the essence of who I am, my Creator God was there...God waiting for me in fact along with other beautiful beings full of love and grace. And God sat with me, in this silence and after some time showed me things that I never thought could ever be true. Things I thought were not meant for me but for those better than me.

God showed me the freedom that is for everyone of us. A spiritual walk, that does not look the same for all, but brings us all back to where we came from.

Freedom is a choice.

It is simple.

God is not in the business of trickery...God is in the business of truth....a simple truth of freedom.

So I rest...or do my best to do so. And that means eliminating things, somethings that I really want to do. BUT I have to decide what is more important...my spiritual peace or fleshy stuff. Am I more effective to those around me when I am spiritually centred or when I have “Stuff” done? These are the things I think about...and the process is always different but the outcome remains the same....being spiritually, mentally and physically healthy is REALLY important to myself and those around me.

Here is the rest of our week in picture:

Winter has definitely made its way here to British Columbia. The following pics are unedited and taken this past Thursday morning. The picture with the trees is taken from our back deck and the pic of the moon from our front.

Amazing Grace....

The Rock Star goes to the School Dance...80’s Theme...Can’t Touch This!

Brothers having a morning cuddle....time to wake up sleepy heads...

my candy arrived from The Great Candy Exchange:                                                               ( http://delightfullydiva-ish.blogspot.com/2009/11/day-66-great-candy-exchange.html )

My candy was sent by Amy ( http://haven-space.blogspot.com/ ) from New Zealand....

As I wrote to her there has been mixed reviews but the bags still seem to be emptying.

I live with a band of sweet tooth's! Thanks Amy, and Gail for putting this together!

On Saturday the Horticulturalist and The Scientist went to go have breakfast with Santa. There were crafts, games and best of all other friend who were there too.

This is Zachary. Zachary is one of those bright lights in our lives. He is the son of dear friends of ours. He is 11 and was born with Downs Syndrome. Zachary is the epitome of what unconditional love looks like. He is an angel on earth and we  feel so blessed to have him, along with his family, doing life with us. If only we could all love as he does.

Zach going in for a hug.....

Emily, Aiden, Jordon and Zachary.....

more friends...Mikela, Mia, and Talia

Some random thoughts this morning, some random shots; I will leave you with a random song...heading over to the Seeds of Love Blog now. After you give a listen why don’t you come on by and see what is going on over there.

...live free....it’s a choice, it’s a process, it’s a journey, enjoy the ride! Love and Light.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akPS71EyQT8